(Not) a happy boy

"Kids adapt so quickly, you'll see".
Well, it's been 2 months now and I don't see it. Not at all.
What I see, is a very lost Little Man, who is anything but himself.
My happy, outgoing, sparkling, social, enthusiastic boy is very hard to find. Mostly, I see a sad, confused, mixed up, angry, very lonely little guy.


It started in July, with his dad being gone already to Germany. One month later, mom gone too - in hospital. After that, mom not "available" anymore, but other people every day in the house to wash, dress, feed him and bring him to school. Then Baby Sis arrived. Finally mom and Baby Sis home, but a few weeks later mom and Baby Sis again in hospital. Then everybody moved to Germany. And now he's in a classroom where they speak three different languages, none of which he actively knows.


If it's been a lot (too much) for this 38 year old, I think it's safe to assume it's been a lot (too much) for a three year old as well. Almost every night he crawls into my bed, only to have a very restless sleep. Tantrums, aggressiveness, disobedience, ...are on the menu every day. He's back in diapers fulltime. Morning drop-offs are a nightmare. Instead of a smiley boy who runs off onto the playground, ready to take the lead, and talking nonstop to his friends, I now leave behind a very sad boy who tells me in a little voice he really doesn't want to stay (occasionally, he puts up a brave face - for my sake, I guess). When I go to pick him up, I see him standing or sitting alone, just observing what the other kids are doing. And my heart breaks. Again.


This week, after coming home from school, he just went into his bedroom, crawled into his bed and went to sleep. He tells me he misses his friends, his old school, the park, his old room,...almost every single day. Or he says he doesn't want to talk about it, like yesterday.


I try to be patient. I really try. (But I'm only human. With serious sleep deprivation. And homesick myself.) I try to point out the positive things. We have mountains here! And snow! We can take the subway to school! I try to do as much fun things as possible. To the kids' museum! Happy meals at Mc Do! Pick out a new toy! I give hugs day and night. I sit by his bed until he finally falls asleep. I pick him up earlier. I prepare his favourite food. I let him watch Cars. I do everything I can. And I get screamed at, I get kicked and hit, I get "NO", until the tears come once again and he falls asleep holding my hand.
That's the reality. That's how "enriching" it all is for a little 3 year old boy.